Snow Ears's Compromise

At the crack of dawn, Snow Ears hopped to the edges of a pond and sniffled about for wild onions and lettuce. However, he was so excited or nervous - he couldn't tell which - that he could barely take two mouthfuls of lettuce and one of onions. He sniffed the air, and was relieved that it was almost time to go to work. He wanted to get it over with as soon as he could.

Scales came to the office a little later than Snow Ears, though earlier than his usual time. "Good morning, Snow Ears. Have you made your decision?"

"Yes, Dr. Scales sir. I…I think I will do as you suggest. I will cut half of my left ear first."

"Excellent decision. It is the choice of least risk for you." Scales eyed him meaningfully. "Anytime you are ready."

Snow Ears had to clear his throat a little before answering. "I am ready now, sir."

Scales pointed to a slab of rock and said, "Stretch out your left ear on that block and lay your head on its side so the ear will stay flat. I will get the knife."

Snow Ears could feel every bone in his body rattle as he limped his way to the slab. Just then, Goose entered the office and squawked when he saw Scales gripping a knife with his prehensile tail and making his way towards Snow Ears.

"Snow Ears has agreed to do the experiment!" Goose exclaimed.

"Yes, he has. He is very brave to be willing to be the first. Don't you think?" Scales said.

Goose waddled to Snow Ears's side and helped him put his ear flat on the rock. Then a fervent discussion began between Scales and Goose.

"I intend to cut it here," Scales said as he touched that part of the ear with the tip of the blade, making Snow Ears jump.

"Won't cutting it the whole way off be better?"

"Well there is substantial amount of weight in both ears. I worry that if I cut off one ear at once, Snow Ears's head will be lopsided. That will not do for self-esteem."

Goose pondered for a moment. "Why not cut both ears now?"

Snow Ears's hind legs jumped, though his head stayed firmly on the block, but his trembling relaxed when Scales said, "I don't think that is a good idea. Anyway cutting both ears at once will make this experiment irreversible."

"But he will still look like a herbivore."

"Well that cannot be helped. But at least he will be in the same leagues as bulls and moose."

"You are absolutely right, Scales. Should we begin now?"

Snow Ears felt the first touch of the knife, then a second and BAM. For a moment he felt nothing. He lifted up his head and the room began to spin around him as the wave of numbness was followed by a dull pinch that turned sharper by the moment.

From a curtain of throbbing pain he heard Goose ask, "How are you going to preserve the ear?"

"I won't," said Scales. "We don't have a technology that can do that yet." He opened his mouth, grabbed the half-ear and swallowed it.

Snow Ears passed out.

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