When Love is Denied

People will start looking for it elsewhere.

Copyright © 2011 Golda Mowe. Write to me, or subscribe to my RSS Feed RSS Feed.

Judy glared into the mottled old mirror. She hated her twin sister. She hated her with her whole being. No matter how badly Julia insulted or degraded her, the family still expected her to show her elder, richer sister respect and admiration.

Their shared birthday was less than three weeks away, and everyone expected her to dutifully turn up at Julia’s house to celebrate. Judy smiled bitterly, making her shrunken face older and her dark-rimmed eyes more pronounced. Sarcastically she wondered what she should bring her sister, for wasn’t it enough that she had spent the first ten years of her adult life to build a craft business from which the accountant Julia had siphoned off all the profits and a large part of the family investment into another business then declared the first company bankrupt? Julia had stolen her life’s work from her in broad daylight, and she had trusted her sister the whole time she was doing it.

Judy walked out of the bathroom and into the single mattress bedroom that Julia had so kindly rented for her. Her clothes, books and craft materials were strewn all over the floor. This would not do, she told herself and began to stuff same-sized cardboard boxes into each other, three a piece. Then she laid the boxes on their side and pile them one on top of the other. She began to fold her clothes and placed them neatly into the shelf she just made. She reserved the bottom compartment for her books.

That’s better, she thought to herself as she surveyed her almost cleared room. She went to a corner of her mattress and pulled out a carved wooden head. It had the shape of the nose, ears and mouth, but the eyes were still missing. Judy sat on her haunches, picked up a carving knife lying on the floor and carved narrow slits for its eyes. Then she trim away a little bit of its nose. Julia liked Japanese stuff, Judy recalled, so she decided to make her a Karakuri Ningyo. She had seen a plan of the mechanical doll once and she still remembered it.

“You are my baby,” she said to the carved face, “My baby, my baby mine. I can’t keep you though. I can’t be with you because my sister expects a gift and you are the only thing I have left in this life to give.”

She scratched the edges of the lips until the mouth forms a gentle smile then she mounted the head atop a stick. Next she arranged pieces of gear on the floor and made sure that they each complement the ones next to them. She cut a long thin strip of steel sheet and wound it round a stick to make a spring. She mounted this crosswise to the head support and attached arms on either side. After she had fixed the gear to the frame and mounted the whole ensemble to a base fixed with three tiny wheels, she released the coiled strip and the doll began to move. She slung a weight on both wooden hands and the doll turned and moved back the way it came. She took the weights away and it turned again and rolled down its dedicated path.

Judy next began to put pieces of bright fabric together to sew into a Japanese Kimono. After making sure that it fitted the doll, she painted the head and hands white. She waited a day before painting the eyebrows and eyes black, and the lips bright red. She glued a wig of straight black hair to the head and tied it back with a bright ribbon. After she dressed it in the kimono, she glued a tiny tray between the hands. Again she tested the doll, over and over, and each time she did so, it delighted her.

By the time the fateful day rolled by, Judy was almost in tears. It was illogical, she thought to herself. Anyway there was no time to make a new gift and she didn’t have money to buy anything good enough for Julia.

“Goodbye, baby. Be good okay. Julia will take care of you now.” The doll clicked and startled Judy. She laughed nervously before wrapping it in some fancy paper.

#

As expected Julia had bought her something everyone knew Judy could never afford, a classic style pant suit. “I hope it fits, darling. Since we are both twins, I chose one that is my size.”

Judy smiled and thanked her before passing her gift to Julia. Her sister opened it with her usual fuss, and on seeing the doll said her thank-you politely, though laced with a hint of disappointment. “You should not have gone through the trouble of making this,” she said. “I’ve asked Henry to get me one when he goes to Japan next week for a business trip.”

Judy kept a smile plastered on her face as she said, “It was no trouble at all.”

The party continued until late into the night. Then as Judy made her way out the front door, she saw Buster, Julia’s Labrador, chewing on the head of the upturned Karakuri doll. She turned her face away and walked out to the porch. An uncontrollable rage filled her heart and her head began to throb. Sudden stiffness flooded through her body and she keeled over. One of her nieces screamed and Henry, Julia’s husband, called the ambulance. When the paramedics arrived, they pronounced her dead and took her to the morgue. A doctor confirmed that she died of stroke that same night.

The following morning, while the family was having breakfast downstairs, a young maid found the doll in a corner of the master bedroom with its head on the tiny tray. She cleaned the head and reattached it back to its body. The doll’s tray lifted and it began to move to a dark spot under the dressing table.

“How troublesome,” Julia said to Henry as she walked into the room. Noticing the surprised maid on her knees by the side of the bed, she said sharply, “Get out of my room. You know that you should leave when I come in.”

The girl bowed her head and scuttled out, too afraid to even tell her employer that there was a strange doll under her dressing table.

“Imagine,” Julia continued her tirade as she sat in front of the dressing table, “dying in front of my house like that.”

Henry stretched out on the bed. “I doubt if she meant to do it to spite you,” he said and reached for a book on the nightstand.

Julia checked her nails and crossed her legs. The Karakuri doll rolled out from under the table, cut across the room and went out into the corridor. It stopped on the top landing of the staircase. Moments later Buster climbed up the steps, looked up to the ceiling with a wag of his tail and picked up the doll before going downstairs again. He placed it down on reaching the ground floor. The tray lowered and the doll turned then rolled towards the kitchen. It stopped in front of a side door which opened. The maid jumped back with a start when she saw it in front of her tiny bedroom.

The dog barked and went inside. The doll rolled in after him. “Oh, it is you, Buster. Naughty boy.”

“Mary!” Julia screamed from the landing, “Where are you?”

The maid immediately jumped to her feet and ran out. The dog ran after her, but the doll remained. It had brought something important on the tray for Mary. It rolled to a dark corner in the room, behind a carton box that Mary used to keep her personal things.

“Shhh,” an inaudible voice said as a cog clicked inside the doll. “Wait till Mary goes to sleep then give her what is in your tray. I promise, she will love you and play with you.” The doll settled.

#

Mary woke with a start in the dark. She switched on the nightlight then sat bolt upright when she saw the doll standing by her mattress. There was a piece of wrapped chocolate on the tray. Mary picked it up. The tray lifted and the doll turned to roll out the open doorway. Mary looked up and, on seeing Henry peeking in on her, quickly pulled her blanket over her chest.

Henry coughed and hurried away. She stared at the ball of expensive chocolate in her hand then outside at the doll which was now turned to face her. Mary blushed, but not in a bad way. She looked at the clock by the side of her mattress: 3 am. Her mistress wouldn’t allow her to have a latch to her door, so it wouldn’t be her fault if the master comes in. Twenty minutes later he did.


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